Friday 31st December 2004

Well another day and more boredom. I know i have coursework to do but i am too restless to do it.

Just not happy at all. Not looking forward to another crappy year at all. Wish i had stayed in bed.

Oh well.

Thursday 30th December 2004

Updated: Well she msn'd me and told me she didnt think it would work out. Then either blocked me or logged off. I understood she had some emotional problems and certain things but....you still dont ignore the bloke your suppose to love or have loved.

Secondly, I am a phyically passionate person and I have been so restricted in being able to show the way i feel I have gotten frustrated and annoyed. If she truly wanted me she should have let me be me instead of putting brick walls in the way.

At least even though I am in for a crappy new year, she wont speak to me now and rub my nose in it with any future partner(s) she has. That will be the only good thing to come out of not seeing each other at all again.


Heres my thoughts.

If you are supposedly dating someone who lives 3 miles away you would expect to see them at least once a week. I havent seen this woman for a month. Yet, I believe if the phone call to her two days ago, was anything to go by, she had seen her supposedly ex boyfriend more than once a week.

She hasn't seen me for over a month.

You can imagine how that makes me feel. Its even worse when you consider that we were supposed to have something special between us. How can we have something special if she doesnt see me but sees her ex boyfriend instead???????? There are NO EXCUSES, NONE WHATSOEVER in my view for her behaviour.

So much for finding someone I love to settle down with.

Tuesday 28th December 2004

Well its Tuesday. Feeling thoroughly dejected at the moment. Have no life and soul left.

Couldnt much care for anything at the moment, and stuff new years eve. Sick to the teeth of all these happy people. Think i'll stay in bed.

Oh well.

Monday 27th December 2004

Merry christmas. Its been a white one here, rather late in the day. It snowed around 8pm here.

Well its been quiet. Been dropping off Christmas presents and playing the role of a bouncer round me nans.

As for me and a certain lady, we have texted each other a few times. I havent seen her for a while. Would like to see her before the new year but I have no idea whether I will get the chance too.

My link for this post is http://www.ananova.co.uk a news website whose desktop cricket score board is more reliable than the BBCs.

Wednesday 22nd December 2004

Well its half way through the week.

Not much has changed. Been out for a christmas meal with a few people at work.

Thats about it really. Have been texting the woman i am supposed to be seeing. I hope she understands how much I miss her. And how much I want to hold her when she is feeling down.

One of the two pieces of courseworks i have to do is on networks so the website of the day is http://www.cisco.com

There is quite a bit of information here. And it has a search function to search for related material.

Have fun.

Monday 20th December 2004

Hello again,

Well another week has passed. Busy week at work. Me and the woman i am supposed to be seeing have texted each other a few times. I did ask when i would see her again but was told after Christmas. I am getting a bit more annoyed as the days drag on. Its now 3 weeks since i last saw her. I will give it till the end of January and if nothing has improved then I will have to consider giving up.

I am a passionate person and like to share it but I cannot do that if I cannot see the person I am supposed to be dating.

Oh well. Christmas is coming. I have no decorations because I just dont feel like i want Christmas this year. As for new years eve, that will be an early night.

To top it all I am supposed to be having this week off work as holiday but it looks like i might have to work. I am seriously annoyed as I have coursework to do.

My website today is www.contact-simulations.co.uk for train and flight simulation add-on packs.

Sunday 12th December 2004

Well its been a better week. I got a grade A in the first piece of coursework for my masters degree. For a short while it will be available to view at http:www.robholdcroft.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk

As for me and the woman i am supposed to be seeing, we have texted each other a few times this week and I spoke to her last night. I have no idea when i will get to see her though even though she only lives a few miles away. She wants to mention the fact that we have been talking to each other to her kids after Christmas. Its amazing what fixing someone's computer can get you into. :o)

Just a normal working week apart from that. Well asthma clinic, turned out fine. Although i have to lose weignt, and give blood for a test to check my liver enzyme out. It slighly higher than it should be. Given my weight this week it will be higher than last time i think. Still at least I know if I get my weight sorted it should be ok. Will have a go in the new year once christmas is out of the way.

Ahhh well. A website http://www.svr.co.uk/ is the official site of one of the oldest heritage railways in the UK. It was the longest but other heritage railways are trying to beat it. Still its a nice day out. Especially if you start and return to Bridgnorth which as a cliff railway too.

Have a good week if I dont post before next weekend.

Monday 6th December 2004

Well i am feeling a little happier. Work was ok. The woman I mentioned in previous posts texted me last night to tell me it was her who had the problems not me. I told her I just wanted to understand her.

Had to go shopping to my local ASDA. Fill up me cupboards a bit and made spaghetti bolognese with oinions, mushrooms, tomatoes not forgetting the jar of sauce, tin of tomatoes and the herbs, oregana, basil(not the fawlty towers one.....lol) and marjoram. Then across the road to get some lights. I hope i can afford to rid myself of the spot lights in my bathroom soon.

As for a website. Ever found one thats turned out to be a disappointment. This was found on an old pinball game. http://www.pinball-arcade.com

If anyone knows of any online pinball games please let me know.

Sunday 5th December 2004

Well it is now Sunday. I still feel miserable and upset and totally despondent with life. A relationship was what i wanted for christmas this year and thats been blown out of the water. Apart from going round mum's christmas day i think i will spend most of the holiday in bed as I have no inclination to get out of bed till i have to go to work,

This is a page about upset i think. I havent actually read this but it might be good. http://www.officepolitics.co.uk/upsets.html

Oh well back off to bed only another 19hours to go before i return to work.

A week that starts well and ends in despair

What a week. It started ok enough. The previous week I never got to see the woman i was supposed to be seeing. By sheer ingenuity and because she needed a printer(i had a spare one) i dropped it off Tuesday morning. I was told she would see me on Thursday lunchtime for an hour.
Yesterday came and went. In reply to my text message to her yesterday morning she replied saying she wouldnt be in. That was truly disappointing. Not only that my bank had lost my loan application in the same morning so you can imagine I was feeling fairly miffed by now.
After I got back from Uni yesterday evening I texted her to find out what she had been doing. She texted me back a couple of times, the first to say it was her own business the 2nd to say she had too many thoughts and stuff she needed to sort out and that she couldn't commit to me. As you can imagine i was truly disappointed and upset. We both had felt love for the first time but now she doesnt know what she wants.
I am that disappointed i have chucked out christmas decorations. Any in the attic will go to the tip tomorrow. I really do not want to have a Christmas this year. And as for new years eve well i shall stay in bed.

I tried to see what a website at http://www.disapoointed.co.uk would be like but its just a shopping portal.

Oh well.